This day.  It’s one of the most precious days to my soul. It’s the day that we took one of the greatest leaps of faith ever.  It’s the day that we went from a family of 5 to a family of 6 and trusted God with the unknown.  I look back at my facebook posts from 3 years ago and I have to laugh.  At 3:00 in the afternoon I was griping about a filling I got in my tooth and my face feeling so numb.  I had zero idea that just 1 hour later I would get a call that changed our lives.  That we would have just the amount of time for me to hang up with that social worker to call Bobby and say “Are you ready?  There’s a 1 day old that needs a home.”  A split second yes that God had been preparing our hearts for for years.  Words cannot even adequately say the emotion that I feel in my heart just remembering that day.  The thing is… when I think of that day and the joy that we have had since then, I remember that there is a flip side.  That what was one of the greatest moments of our lives was one of the worst days of someone else.

My heart physically aches when I picture her leaving the hospital empty handed.  Yes, it was the result of poor choices, but she still lost her baby.  I wonder if on this day when we are celebrating one of our greatest treasures, how does she feel?  Does she think of her… of them?  I like to believe that she does.  I pray for her so often.  I pray that God will whisper to her heart that she is not the sum of her mistakes.  I pray that she will know she is not too far gone for redemption.  That she is loved.  I pray that He whispers to her truth.  I pray that He reminds her that she made the brave choice.  She knew she was unable to care for her (and later we would find out for our other precious daughter) and she chose a future for them.  So brave.  So selfless.  I pray that she knows that I will never ever villainize her.  That when the day comes to tell our girls about her, that we will tell them she loved them so much.  That she knew she was unable to be the mom they needed and that she did an act of true love.  I pray that she doesn’t think that I believe myself better than her in any way.  We are all one poor choice away from a life we never imagined.  I pray that she will somehow, someway be able to forgive herself.  And Lord, I pray that you will give her peace.